i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
