so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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