I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize