carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
