a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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