Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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