I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
