so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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