dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
