you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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