You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
PANTIES FOUND
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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