He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
