The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
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this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
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The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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