I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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