K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I lost the right to judge tonight
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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