I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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