you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
