I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
