Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
