Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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