OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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