I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
