don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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