we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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