I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
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His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
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Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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