Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
