I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
