Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Randomize
