Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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