He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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