Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize