should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
