I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
