Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
