Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Can Purell be used as lube?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
