Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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