so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
