...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
