I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
