I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
