I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
