Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize