Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Can I color on your dick again?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
