My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
