No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
