This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
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