hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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