You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
