Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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