Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
