i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
