tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
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