he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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