do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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