I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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