hotel room ftw
I am midnight drunk by noon
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
