My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
literally had 100 drinks last night.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
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