Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
